Below are a few of the dogversations from the book. More new work will be added soon!
Bruno: Guys, why did Dave leave us with his phone and iPad.
Agnes: He wanted us to check out our on-line presence.
Eva: Yup. Instagram account and new website.
Bruno: Cool. Do I come off as super handsome and smart online?
Eva: Just as much as in reality.
Bruno: Brilliant.
Agnes: But guys, now that we've seen the website, maybe we should hit Amazon and order some new toys and dog cookies.
Bruno: I do love me some cookies.
Eva: No way. Not a good idea.
Bruno: Seriously? Are you now a goodie goodie moo moos?
Eva: That's not the expression. And no I'm not. You guys, there's the "Skip the Dishes" app on here. I've got a hankering for some food delivery!
Agnes: Great idea. Let's do it!
Eva: Sure thing. Now I'm thinking asian as I could really go for some ginger beef.
Bruno: Ha. That's hilarious!
Eva: Ginger beef is funny?
Bruno: Not the dish. It's wonderful, although make sure we get it without onions as those aren't good for dogs. I was thinking more of the name. It's gonna be my new nickname for you.
Eva: I don't get it.
Bruno: Well, you're a bit of a red head - AKA ginger. And you're always slightly grumpy about something - AKA having a beef with it. So, from now on I'm calling you "ginger beef".
Eva: Why you little ...
Agnes: Seriously, guys, if you insist on fighting the least you could do is give me the iPhone so I can place the order. Ginger beef hold the onions and lots of fortune cookies. This is hooked up to Dave's Visa and I'm feeling rich!
Dave: Where are you going, Bruno?
Bruno: Jail break! No walls can confine me!
Dave: You're going to be an escape artist?
Bruno: Sometimes escape is the only option. Being locked in this cage is simply intolerable. It's like a horror show in here.
Dave: I thought it was an open exercise pen with carpeted floor, a soft towel, and a good view of the lake.
Bruno: Truly a substandard situation, Dave.
Dave: I think you may be setting your standards a little high. You're a new puppy who has yet to learn to pee outside and likes to chew electrical cords. Kennel training is apparently a good thing to help you learn the house rules.
Bruno: Can't talk. Busy escaping.
Dave: And what is the plan when you do escape?
Bruno: Can’t plan. Busy escaping.
Dave: And how does this fit in with the house rule of waiting patiently to be let out of your exercise pen?
Bruno: Rules, shmules. I view the rules more like loose guidelines. Sounds like we’re done here. Now if you’ll stop your chit-chat and excuse me, I have some escaping to do.
Daniel: Hey, puppies! Want to come to a guitar concert?
Agnes: I do, I do!
Eva: Are there snacks at this concert?
Bruno: Snacks and a show sound great.
Daniel: Alright. Thanks for coming to the concert. Unfortunately, there are no snacks.
Agnes: That's okay. I like the guitar.
Daniel: Good. Now my first song is—
Agnes: Can I eat that snack?
Bruno: There are snacks?
Daniel: Agnes, I said there are no snacks here.
Agnes: Then what's that thing in your hand?
Bruno: Oh yes. It looks yummy.
Eva: Mmm-hmm. That thing looks tasty.
Daniel: I told you there are no snacks; just music. And this thing is a guitar pick. Not a snack.
Agnes: Good thing I like music.
Bruno: Can I eat the guitar pick?
Eva: Yes, me too! It looks like a yummy guitar pick.
Agnes: That settles it. Guitar picks are my new favourite. Picks for everyone!
Dave: Eva, what are you up to?
Eva: Waiting for the big guy.
Dave: Bruno? He's locked in the kitchen after he ate two presents that Julia made.
Eva: Not that big guy. The big guy in the red suit and the white beard.
Dave: Santa?
Eva: If you know another guy who wears a red suit while rocking a white beard, I want to meet him.
Dave: Yes, but I was wondering why you were watching this early in the afternoon.
Eva: Because you can never be too prepared, Dave. I might need to explain that I wasn't the one consuming handmade gifts.
Dave: I'm sure he knows.
Eva: But more importantly, if Bruno's locked in the kitchen, there's a chance I’ll get his treats while he's stuck back there.
Dave: Merry Christmas, Eva.
Eva: It sure will be.
Eva: Bru, what do you think of these new mugs?
Bruno: I thought they were for the humans.
Eva: I'm not so sure about that. The text seems to fit us both perfectly.
Bruno: Nothing is fitting about mine.
Eva: Seriously? Do you even know what namaste means?
Bruno: Of course I do. Do you think that I'm a troglodyte?
Eva: Honestly? Yes, I kind of do. But how can that mug not fit you? You love to sleep in and chill!
Bruno: Well, that's not the true meaning of namaste. But even allowing for that, the cultural misappropriation of the term and the fake contraction; it still don't fit. That's why I assumed it was for the humans.
Eva: Well, I never took you for much of a language scholar. I guess I underestimated you.
Bruno: I accept your apology.
Eva: I never apologized. I make that a principle of mine to never admit wrongdoing. But I would appreciate it if you could enlighten me as to why the text doesn't fit.
Bruno: It truly has nothing to do with the text. I can't even read. I simply meant that it doesn't fit because I can't get my snout all of the way in to eat the food in the bottom two-thirds of the mug. See? It just doesn’t fit.